10 Tips to Help Your Picky Eater With Thanksgiving

thanksgiving foods on table — Thanksgiving foods can be overwhelming for picky eaters.

Thanksgiving often brings to mind happy memories spent with family and friends, and a time for sharing a delicious meal. For families with picky eaters however, Thanksgiving may turn from a happy event revolving around tasty food, to a stressful situation, anticipating your child’s reaction to traditional Thanksgiving foods, or worrying about their behavior at the dinner table in front of friends and family.

The Emotions Around Thanksgiving Foods

Many people become emotionally tied to the foods served at Thanksgiving because of the good memories associated with them. My Thanksgiving wouldn’t be complete without my mom’s cream cheese mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole (with green beans from the can!). Let’s take green bean casserole for example. My French husband has declared it’s objectively not delicious, why is it that I love it and he thinks it’s gross? One reason is the comforting and happy memories I associate with green bean casserole, as it has always been served at family holidays.

Why is Thanksgiving hard for picky eaters?

Thanksgiving can be particularly hard for a picky eater for several reasons. They are being presented with foods they might not see very often which can be overwhelming for picky eaters, and they’re also in a more stimulating environment with lots of people around, which can make it hard for some children to eat or behave at the meal. While your little one may not eat most (or any) of the traditional Thanksgiving foods your family typically prepares, we want to do what we can to support a stress-free and joyful holiday, so that your child has the chance to create happy memories surrounding the holiday and food, too!

Here are my top tips, as a feeding therapist, on how to prepare for Thanksgiving with a picky eater.

1. Food rehearsals

Food rehearsals can be super helpful for children. Many children are not likely to try a food the first time they see it. The more times children are exposed to a food, the more familiar it becomes and the closer they are to eating it. With Thanksgiving foods, it’s possible that your child only sees some of these foods 1-2 times each year. That’s not enough for many kids to become comfortable with these foods.

You can start food rehearsals at any time throughout the year, or at least a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving. Try to incorporate dishes that will be served at Thanksgiving at meals throughout the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. Give your child the opportunity to explore these foods in a low pressure way, without the expectation of them eating it.

Talk about the foods and work towards your child tolerating the food on their plate, touching it with utensils (e.g. cutting with a knife, scooping it with a spoon), smelling it, touching it with their hands, touching it to their face and mouth, and eventually maybe taking a taste (licking or taking a small bite). This will give your kiddo the exposure they might need to taste a new food or two on Thanksgiving day, or at the very least, feel more comfortable around the foods.

kids playing with foods — Cooking together and playing with foods is another great way to expose children to new foods before Thanksgiving.

Fun food play ideas:

-Use cookie cutters to cut shapes in jellied cranberry sauce

-Make a volcano with mashed potatoes and gravy

-Dip turkey into gravy and make a painting

-Making walrus tusks out of baby carrots

-Mashing sweet potatoes with a masher or fork

-Finger painting with mashed potatoes

Check out more fun ways to explore food here.

2. Have your child choose a food to be served

Knowing there will be a familiar food that they got to choose can help your child feel more relaxed and comfortable, which can also cause them to feel more open to trying something new. You can either give your child a few choices, or let them choose whatever they want. Don’t worry if it’s not a traditional Thanksgiving food! This may start a new tradition for your family, and will help your child feel included and excited for the day. This will also avoid any need for the feeling to make an unplanned separate meal for your child on the day of.

3. Involve your child in cooking

Cooking is a fantastic way to work on decreasing picky eating. When children help cook they get to interact with the food in a low-stress way, and are exposed to the sensory properties of the foods by touching, stirring, cutting, and smelling the foods. You can model taste testing, but avoid asking or telling them to taste it in order to keep it low pressure. Cooking the food can sometimes get them excited enough to try it, but be patient and don’t place expectations on them to eat it (e.g. avoid saying, “Don’t you want to try it?” “Just take one bite,” and “It’s so good just taste it!”).

children helping prepare thanksgiving meal — Having children involved in the preparation process is a great strategy for picky eaters.

4. Read books about Thanksgiving

Reading books about Thanksgiving is a great way to help your child learn what to expect on Thanksgiving day, including what will happen on the day, and the foods that might be there. You can talk about the foods you see in the book and if they will be at your Thanksgiving, too. You can also talk about what other activities the families in the stories do on Thanksgiving day, and if your family will also do any of those activities.

Here are some great Thanksgiving books that talk about foods and traditional Thanksgiving day activities:

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“Turkey Gobble” by Little Bee Books

“Turkey Gobble” is an interactive book that introduces traditional Thanksgiving foods your toddler might encounter at Thanksgiving dinner. Talk about each food, what it looks like, what it might feel like, and help the turkey try each food. Talk about what new foods your toddler might get to see, smell, and taste at Thanksgiving.

“I Am Thankful: A Thanksgiving Book for Kids” by Sheri Wall

This book goes through many activities that often occur around Thanksgiving time. Talk about the Thanksgiving activities that your family will do to, and if they are the same or different from the story. Maybe you want to choose something that your read about in the story to incorporate into your own family traditions!

“Pookie’s Thanksgiving” by Sandra Boynton

This simple story involves Pookie helping his parents bake and set the table, playing outside, and everyone saying what they’re thankful for!

The Night Before Thanksgiving

This story goes through fun activities your child might have to look forward to on Thanksgiving like playing with cousins and putting on a skit for family members, describing Thanksgiving foods, and even exploring some foods through play!

5. Review the Thanksgiving menu

Talk about the foods that will be at your Thanksgiving meal and find some foods that your child will feel comfortable eating. It’s okay if your child fills up on rolls and butter! Maybe your child likes corn, macaroni and cheese, or carrots. Maybe your child likes raw carrots, but not cooked carrots yet and you can plan to have both available. Maybe your child is more open to trying foods with a familiar dip. Plan to have that dip available. As discussed earlier, allow your child to choose a special food that they would be excited to see at the dinner table. It’s okay if there are only 1-2 foods that your child is willing to eat.

6. Talk about expectations ahead of time

Rather than becoming upset and frustrated on Thanksgiving day when your child is not eating any of the prepared foods or is not behaving, talk about the expectations with your child ahead of time. Remember that Thanksgiving may be overwhelming for some children with new smells, non-preferred foods, more people, and possibly an unfamiliar environment. It’s unfair if you become upset at your child when they are not aware of the expectations, especially when they may be in an overstimulating setting. Talk about your expectations whether it’s to sit at the table for a certain amount of time (make it realistic compared to how long your child can sit at the table during meals at home), to have a small amount of a new food on their plate (and let them know it’s okay not to eat it), or that they will just have the foods on their plate that you discussed ahead of time (i.e. preferred/tolerable foods only). Again, the expectations you set for your child should be realistic for them. Maybe your child will do better at the “kids table” if that’s an option for your family.

7. Dress rehearsal

It can be helpful to actually do a mini dress rehearsal of Thanksgiving ahead of time. This way your child can practice the expectations you set in a comfortable environment, and get another exposure to some of the foods that will be at Thanksgiving.

8. Talk about other fun activities that will happen on Thanksgiving day

Having a holiday that completely revolves around food can be really stressful for a picky eater, so talking about other fun things that will happen that day can give them something else to focus on and look forward to. Talk about getting to play with cousins or friends, playing a family game of football, playing games together, watching a movie together, or going on a family walk. Think of starting a new family Thanksgiving day tradition that doesn’t involve food if you don’t have one yet!

Talking about other Thanksgiving traditions to look forward to can help your child feel less anxious about the food.

9. Give your child a job

Having a job on Thanksgiving day can help give your child a sense of responsibility. You can ask them to make name cards for guests, help to set the table, help to decorate the house, pass out rolls, or have them ask everyone what they’re thankful for.

10. Avoid power struggles at the table

As we mentioned before, Thanksgiving can be overstimulating for some children. Avoid any power struggles with expecting them to try new foods, even if maybe they tasted something during a food rehearsal but don’t want to taste it again. A meal with extended family and friends is not the best time to expect your child to try something new, and it is a holiday after all. Avoid bribes, such as telling your child they can only have dessert if they eat their meal. Focus on creating happy memories, which may help your child associate positive memories with these foods even if they don’t eat them this year!