Common Mealtime Mistakes When Starting Solids and How to Fix Them

As a feeding therapist, I see many common mistakes during mealtimes which can exacerbate feeding difficulties. Luckily there are some simple fixes to these mistakes to help get your little one’s feeding back on track!

Here are some common mistakes I see, and how to easily fix them:

Mistake #1: Overloading the spoon

Overloading the spoon with food results in two things. First, baby may get more food in their mouth than they can manage. Getting too much food in their mouth can be scary and unpleasant. When babies are learning to eat, we want to help them feel successful by being responsive to their cues. The second thing that I see happen is when baby gets food on their face, parents feel the urge to scrape it off with the spoon. Keep reading below to see why this is mistake #2!

Fix:

Start with spoon-tip volumes for babies just starting purees, and work up from there to an amount that your child easily manages. Allow your baby to self-feed (these spoons are great for that), and/or use responsive feeding techniques, which means you respond to your baby’s cues. If baby looks uncomfortable, is gagging, or pushing food our of their mouth, wait for baby to open their mouth to indicate they want more, and provide a smaller amount on the spoon.

Mistake #2: Scraping food off of baby’s face with the spoon

Avoid scraping food from your baby's chin and lips with a spoon.

The sensation of their chin and lips constantly being scraped with the spoon can be uncomfortable, and can contribute to a feeding aversion (imagine someone doing the same to you after every bite of food). This can cause babies to associate that feeling with eating and begin to reject their high chair or being fed.

Fix:

Let baby be messy! Getting messy is an important part of learning to eat. It helps children learn the sensory properties of the food, learn how the food is going to feel in their mouths, and become comfortable touching the foods to self-feed. Making sure to not overload the spoon (see mistake #1) is also helpful!

Let baby get messy while learning to eat to help develop their feeding skills!

Mistake #3: Inappropriate size, texture, and/or presentation of foods for the child’s skill level

It is common for parents not to realize the correct texture of foods required when transitioning to solids. When we present baby with foods that are too advanced for their skill level, it increases the risks of gagging and choking (note: gagging and choking are different, gagging is a natural protective mechanism and while it is common to occur when starting solids, it should not be excessive; choking is silent and requires immediate intervention - it is a good idea to be trained in infant CPR and Heimlich maneuver prior to starting solids, find a class here).

When transitioning to solids, check food before serving it to baby to make sure foods easily smash into a puree-type texture with light pressure.

Fix:

When transitioning from purees to solids, foods need to be soft enough to smash into a puree-type consistency with light pressure (think ripe avocado and banana texture), and are best served as thin strips that baby can hold in their hand and bring to their mouth, followed by chickpea-sized pieces (once your child has their pincer grasp). This can be achieved by serving very ripe fruit and removing the skin, as well as steaming or boiling most vegetables. Foods that are soft, but do not turn to a puree-type consistency when smashed, such as soft pasta, ground and shredded meat, and eggs can be introduced as baby’s munching and tongue lateralization skills are improving (usually around 7-9 months). Modify family meals so baby can still eat the same foods as the rest of the family. This might look like cooking vegetables longer, cutting foods into strips or appropriate sized pieces, and serving single textures (mixed textures, like soup with chunks or cereal in milk, are harder to manage, this skill typically develops around 12 months of age).

Mistake #4: Sneaking food into your child’s mouth

This is a big one! I see parents get so desperate for their child to take a bite that they sneak one in while their child is distracted, laughing, or even crying with their mouth open. They may have gotten one bite in, but it can be detrimental for long-term progress. Trust is an essential part of feeding, and when you sneak a bite in, that breaks the child’s trust and they often become even more wary of eating. This also applies to sneaking foods into other foods. If your child is expecting to taste one food, and when they taste or feel something else, they are likely to become even more resistant to eating.

Fix:

Let your child self-feed with spoons (these are my favorite early self-feeding spoons) and their hands. Self-feeding has many benefits including feeling the sensory properties of food (which helps them be more accepting to eating it), tolerating getting food on their hands (which is essential for self-feeding), builds independence, and eye-hand coordination. In addition to self-feeding, you can do responsive co-feeding. This means responding to your child’s cues during feeding, including waiting to put the spoon in their mouth until they open their mouth/lean forward for more, giving them the opportunity to close their mouth onto the spoon to remove the food rather than scraping it off into their mouth, and following their fullness cues (e.g. disinterest, crying, throwing food).

Mistake #5: Wiping children off while they’re sitting in their highchair

Many children do not like the sensation of being wiped off, so wiping them off frequently across a meal, or at the end of the meal, can cause an aversion to the highchair. Children can begin to associate the feeling of being wiped off with mealtime, and start refusing to sit in their highchair. When we wipe children off frequently across a meal, we are sending the message that food is dirty, which can exacerbate sensory difficulties with food.

Fix:

Wash off after meals at the sink, rather than wiping children at the table.

Wash baby off at the sink after eating! Many babies actually enjoy splashing around in the water, so this makes clean-up easier on both of you. My strategy? Ditch the clothes before the meal, use a silicone bib, pick baby up from behind so their little hands can’t get you, and go straight to the sink (or even the bath if it’s dinner).

Mistake #6: Not eating with your child

This is another one that makes a huge difference, and is very common. Babies and toddlers have to see you eating to learn how to eat. Children need to see their parents eating to learn to chew, to know how to approach eating a new food, and to actually understand that a food is safe to eat. Children also need to see their parents eating the same foods that they’re being served to learn to like them. On top of that, eating is also a social part of life (think of holidays, parties, and getting together with friends, they usually involve eating!). Eating together helps teach your child the social role food plays in life. Family meals are also proven to have far extending benefits, including children’s mental health, academic performance, and self-esteem.

Fix:

Eat the same foods at the same time as your child as frequently as possible. In my family we prioritize eating together as a family, which means some nights we are more relaxed on our bedtime schedule - this is what works for us!

Mistake #7: Putting too much food on your child’s tray at once

I often see parents give their child their whole serving at once. This can often cause the child to become overwhelmed and shutdown immediately, and begin to throw the food on the floor.

Fix:

Start by only placing a couple pieces of each food on your child’s tray. This can help reduce the chance of them becoming overwhelmed by the amount of food (especially if it’s a less preferred or less familiar food), and more likely to interact with it. This also cuts down on food waste. As your child’s feeding skills advance, experiment with the amount of food you can offer them at once.

Mistake #8: Putting pressure on your child to eat

This is another big one! The more pressure a child feels to eat, the more stressed out they become, which leads to less eating (have you noticed that when you feel pressured and anxious you lose your appetite?).

Fix:

This is probably my favorite “fix” of all - make mealtimes fun and playful, making it a routine your child wants to come back to! When you are having fun at mealtime, your child can feel that energy and will also have more fun. When children are having fun and given the space to be playful, it leads to them feeling relaxed and more likely to eat. In the long run, this tip makes mealtimes much more enjoyable for everyone and can lead to real long-term improvements.

When to get help from a professional

At the end of the day, strategies are not all size fits one, and some feeding difficulties go deeper than “mealtime mistakes.” If by 9-10 months of age your baby is having difficulty transitioning to solid foods, or you have a picky eater, speak to your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a feeding therapist (feeding therapists have the title of speech-language pathologist or occupational therapist). Some babies may benefit from an evaluation even sooner if you’re seeing frequent gagging, vomiting, and/or coughing, limited chewing, or rejection of purees and/or solid foods. In some cases, your pediatrician may also refer you to a gastroenterologist (GI doctor), allergist, or other member of a feeding team.

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This website and information on this blog post is provided for educational purposes only. It is not meant as medical advice, intended to replace a speech-language or feeding assessment, therapy from a speech-language pathologist, or serve as medical or nutritional care for a child. It is recommended that you discuss any concerns or questions you might have with your speech-language pathologist, pediatrician, and medical team, and develop an individualized team plan specifically for your child.