Strategies for More Successful Mealtimes: The What, How, and How Much of Foods at Meals
Another important aspect of creating successful mealtimes, especially for our picky eaters, is thinking about what food is being served, how much food is being served, and how the food is being served. When we think about these facets of the meal, and how we might be able to make some alterations to help make mealtime go more smoothly, we’re setting our child up for success. Is your child having a tantrum before even getting to the table? Check out my post here on transitioning to meals on a more positive note.
What food is being served?
Aim to serve one protein, one carbohydrate, and one vegetable and/or fruit at each meal. Have at least one of the planned foods you serve be a preferred food for your child. Remember the Division of Responsibilities, and that you as the parent are in charge of choosing the food that is served, not your child, though you can respect them by including at least one food that is “safe” for them.
Aim to include one protein, carbohydrate, and fruit/vegetable, cut into appropriate sizes for your child’s skill level.
Make sure each food you serve is a manageable bite-size and texture for your child’s skill level. Have food cut up into appropriate sized bites depending on your child’s age. For children just transitioning to table food, make sure to serve soft solids that are easy to chew. Children should be able to manage most textures by 2 years old, with appropriate shape/size modifications for choking hazards (e.g. quartering grapes, cherry tomatoes, hot dogs, cherries, melon balls, etc.).
How much food is being served?
Consider appropriate portion sizes. You can start with the rule of thumb of serving ¼-½ of an adult serving size, or a tablespoon per year of age (e.g. 3 years old = 3 Tablespoons of each food) for preferred and tolerable foods you’re serving (i.e. foods your child typically and sometimes eats). How much they will actually eat varies a lot based on so many factors (e.g. age, size, activity level, how much they ate at the last meal, snacking, constipation, sickness, period of faster or slower growth).
Check out this guide from a registered dietitian here.
For new or non-preferred foods (i.e. foods your child has never seen or has only seen a couple of times, or foods your child consistently refuses to eat), serve an even smaller portion. For new foods or non-preferred foods, start with just 1-3 small pieces of the food. For foods that are highly non-preferred, try serving an even smaller single piece on their plate. By providing a small portion, it is less overwhelming for children, and they are more likely to consider eating it. When we serve a large portion of a new or non-preferred food, especially to picky eaters, they can become overwhelmed with the amount they think they have to eat and shut down.
By serving a smaller amount of non-preferred food on your child’s plate, it becomes more approachable.
It is important to continue serving these non-preferred foods, even when your child has rejected them in the past. It can take 10+ tastes on different occasions before a child starts to accept a food.
Your child can always have more of the preferred/tolerable foods at the meal, even if they are not willing to try the other foods served at the meal. You’re going to have more long-term success, and create a better relationship with food for your child by not forcing them to taste foods. Instead, aim for your child to tolerate the food on their plate, and/or interact with it in a non-stressful way that can lead to them tasting it independently in the future. Check out these fun ideas here.
How is the food being served?
Think about the environment and limit mealtime distractions.
Aim to eliminate the use of screens (TVs, iPads, phones), loud music, and even pets during mealtimes. Screens during mealtimes in particular can have long-term negative effects. All of these can take away from the child actually focusing on what they are doing. If a child only ever eats in front of a screen, their “cue to eating” is a screen (cues to eating are signals that tell our brain it’s almost time to eat, such as hearing and smelling food being cooked, and seeing the table being set), and they become less likely, or even unable, to eat when the screen is not there. While watching a screen, children are not focused on chewing their food, which can increase choking hazards, are not focused on the sensory properties of foods, which can keep their diet limited, and are less tuned into their hunger-full signals, which can lead to under or over eating. Of course there will be times this rule may need to be broken (family movie and pizza night anyone?), but the key is to make the screen-time at mealtime an exception to the rule, rather than the routine.
Serve food family style when possible.
By giving children some sense of control for how much food goes on their plate, they can take the serving size they want so they do not become overwhelmed with too big of a portion (as we previously discussed). This also gives children a chance to interact with the food while getting the food onto their plate (e.g. scooping with a spoon, poking with a fork, touching with their fingers), which is an important first step to eating a new food.
Serving food family style has several benefits.
Research has found that infants and toddlers typically have an innate ability to know how much food they need for their individual needs in terms of energy, growth, and recent food intake. We can encourage children to listen to their body’s natural signals for when they’re full to help support a healthy relationship with food, rather than bribing children with dessert to eat more bites or finish what’s on their plate. This teaches them to ignore their body’s full signal, which can lead to over-eating, as well as places desserts on a pedestal.
If you are concerned with your child’s weight gain and growth, speak with your pediatrician and get a referral to a pediatric registered dietitian to get help specific to your child’s needs.
Serving foods family-style has benefits including:
Allows increased exposure to new foods. If your child is not quite ready to have a non-preferred food on their plate, at the very least they are able to see and smell it on the table.
Allows your child to easily get more of a food, whether that’s more of a preferred food, or more of a new food they tried and would like more of.
Allows children to help control portion sizes and listen to their body’s hunger/full cues.
You can serve foods directly from the pots, pans, and bowls you cooked them in, or, place them straight into the containers you will use for any leftovers, which helps reduce extra dishes that need to be washed.
Try serving single foods before serving them as a mixed dish.
Children are more likely to eat single foods before eating a combined food dish (e.g. casserole dishes, added toppings to tacos, pasta, sandwiches, etc.). Consider serving and exposing your child to foods separately (e.g. pasta, vegetables, ground meat, sauce to dip) before serving them as a combined dish (e.g. meat and vegetable lasagna).
A deconstructed taco, serving protein, toppings, and shell separately, will help your child work towards eating them all together.
Remember, change takes time.
Slowly start incorporating strategies into your family’s mealtime routines. New routines take time to adjust to, so be patient and stick with it, and look for small improvements. While the end goal may be for your child to try and eat new foods, remember that success also looks like: your child sitting at the table for one more minute, your child having a positive meal experience even if they don’t eat a new food, your child tolerating a new food on the table or on their plate, eating at the same time as someone else, eating without a screen, touching or licking a new food, or making it between a planned meal and a planned snack with no grazing.
For more mealtime strategies, check out 9 Mealtime Strategies To Help Your Child With Picky Eating. Start implementing these strategies one by one, and you’ll be on your way to more successful mealtimes!
*If you are concerned with your child’s weight gain and growth, speak with your pediatrician and get a referral to a pediatric registered dietitian to get help specific to your child’s needs. There may be other underlying issues contributing to your child’s picky eating. If you are concerned with your child’s feeding and picky eating, speak to your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a feeding therapist (feeding therapists have the title of speech-language pathologist or occupational therapist). Signs your child may benefit from feeding therapy include gagging, vomiting, and/or coughing while eating/drinking, difficulty chewing, rejection of foods, less than 20-30 accepted foods, little to no foods they will eat in certain food groups (e.g. proteins, fruits, vegetables), consistently needing a different meal than the rest of the family, and/or tantrums at the sight or presentation of new or non-preferred foods at the table or on their plate. In some cases, your pediatrician or feeding therapist may also refer you to a gastroenterologist (GI doctor), allergist, otolaryngologist (ENT doctor), or other member of a feeding team.
This website and information on this blog post is provided for educational purposes only. It is not meant as medical advice, intended to replace a speech-language or feeding assessment, therapy from a speech-language pathologist, or serve as medical or nutritional care for a child. It is recommended that you discuss any concerns or questions you might have with your Speech-Language Pathologist, pediatrician, and medical team, and develop an individualized team plan specifically for your child.
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