Strategies for More Successful Mealtimes: How to Transition into Meals on a Positive Note
You just spent time, money, and effort to get a meal on the table, and now your child is throwing a tantrum before the meal has even begun. When children become acutely upset, their appetite decreases, and the rest of the meal is now likely to be a struggle. Why did this happen? Not all toddler tantrums can be predicted, but by working towards starting meals off on a positive note with a few simple strategies, we set our children up for success.
Think about the transition from your child’s point of view.
Starting off with un upsetting transition can start the whole meal off on the wrong foot.
Think about when you ask your child to come to the table, or put them in their high chair. Did your child just spend time in their car seat on the drive home, moving from one confining seat to another? Did your child just start playing with toys? Is your child right in the middle of watching a favorite show? Did you put your child in their high chair before the food is ready, or when no one else is there to eat with them?
Try these strategies to improve the transition to mealtimes, and help start the meal off on a positive note:
Give time for a regulating movement break before meals.
Heavy work activities can include climbing and pushing.
All children are different and what may be regulating, or calming, for one child, may be over-stimulating for another child. One regulating strategy that works for many children is heavy work activities. These include activities that can be done at home or in the park such as:
animal crawls
climbing (e.g. ladder, slide)
digging
seesaws
army crawling
pushing full/partly full laundry baskets
stacking cans of food
pushing weighted (e.g. cans of food) toy shopping cart
carrying packages into the house
wall pushes
rolling over a yoga ball
Watch for your child’s response to different types of activities. It’s ideal for children to be in a calm, alert state for meals, similar to the state typically needed for optimal learning. Playing calming music, as well as avoiding over-stimulating activities like screen time may also be beneficial right before meals. In addition to reducing over-stimulation before a meal, try to plan any screen time for after meals so they don’t feel upset with a favorite show being turned off to go eat. If your child is in occupational therapy, check with their OT to see what activities might be regulating before a meal for your child.
2. Give a verbal warning so your child knows what’s coming next.
Research has shown that giving a verbal warning before a transition increases compliance with the change in activity. You can also try using a visual schedule, and/or visual time. For example:
“Dinner is in two minutes”
“A few more minutes to play then it’s time to eat”
Some children also respond well to an auditory and visual timer - “Alexa, set a timer for 2 minutes.”
3. Have the table and food as ready as possible before transitioning children to the table.
We can expect most children to sit for about 15-30 minutes for meals, but many children have difficulty even sitting for 5-10 minutes. If we get kids in their chairs before the food and table are ready, we may now have impatient and hungry children that might start melting down before the meal has even started. We want to avoid wasting any precious minutes that our children are able to stay seated at the table by not having the food ready yet.
4. Create a transition routine.
Children respond well to routines, and they play an important role in child development. By creating a routine around transitions (i.e. moving between activities), it provides a predictable structure, which children crave. When children know what’s coming next, they are less likely to become upset. Here’s an example of a typical transition to mealtimes:
Give verbal warning before meal (option to provide visual and/or auditory timer)
Wash hands
Give your child a job, for example, putting napkins, forks, or placemats around the table, helping to prepare food, putting rolls in a basket, serving food onto their plate, etc.
Sit at the table together, at the same time
Start off the meal in a positive way, for example, go around the table and say something fun you did today, say a prayer together, or make up your own fun family tradition
Giving a child a job, such as helping to prepare the food, can help with transitions, as well as help the child feel a sense of responsibility and pride in the meal.
New Routines Take Time and Consistency
Remember, implementing new routines take time and consistency, and can take 2+ weeks to adjust to. Be patient with yourself and your little ones. They may very well still have tantrums, but hopefully they become less frequent with the use of these strategies. You got this!
To learn more mealtime strategies to use to help reduce picky eating, click here.
If you are concerned with your child’s feeding and picky eating, speak to your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a feeding therapist (feeding therapists have the title of speech-language pathologist or occupational therapist). There may be other underlying issues contributing to your child’s picky eating. Signs your child may benefit from feeding therapy include gagging, vomiting, and/or coughing while eating/drinking, difficulty chewing, rejection of foods, less than 20-30 accepted foods, little to no foods they will eat in certain food groups (e.g. proteins, fruits, vegetables), consistently needing a different meal than the rest of the family, and/or tantrums at the sight or presentation of new or non-preferred foods at the table or on their plate. In some cases, your pediatrician or feeding therapist may also refer you to a gastroenterologist (GI doctor), allergist, otolaryngologist (ENT doctor), or other member of a feeding team.
Follow us on Instagram for “bite-sized” information on each blog post:
Pin to Pinterest to save for later and share!
Click the red P above to pin to Pinterest
This website and information on this blog post is provided for educational purposes only. It is not meant as medical advice, intended to replace a speech-language or feeding assessment, therapy from a speech-language pathologist/feeding therapist, or serve as medical or nutritional care for a child. It is recommended that you discuss any concerns or questions you might have with your Speech-Language Pathologist/feeding therapist, pediatrician, and medical team, and develop an individualized team plan specifically for your child.